heavymetalharlot: Trying to be a person not a fangirl right now. But someone really awesome added me on Facebook. An in-a-band someone who’s met me at gigs a couple of times and ~actually recognised me~ and found my Facebook. So like typically my congrats for pooping card is my most recent picture and my last status is talking about how many people I’ve fucked D: oh gaaaaaawd. I don’t think...
Today, a friend of mine at work was telling a colleague he was thinking of growing his hair, because well, why not? He fancied a change. She replied, “Oh no, I think all women should have long hair and all men should have short hair”. I don’t understand how anyone can be so arrogant they think their personal preference should be made universal throughout the world. I mean,...
Computer: Monitor, display this document, okay?
Monitor: No prob, boss.
Computer: Okay, now it looks like the mouse is moving around. Monitor, can you move the pointer icon accordingly?
Monitor: Anything you ask, boss.
Computer: Great, great, okay. Mouse, where are you going now?
Mouse: Over the icon panel, sir.
Computer: Hmm, let me know if he clicks anything, okay?
Mouse: Of course.
Keyboard: Sir, he's pressed Ctrl and P simultaneously.
Monitor: Oh god, here we go.
Computer: *sigh* Printer, are you there?
Computer: Please, Printer, I know you're there.
Printer: No! I'm not here! Leave me alone!
Computer: Jesus. Okay, you really nee-
Mouse: Sir! He's clicked on the printer icon.
Computer: Printer, now you have to print it twice.
Printer: No! No! No! I don't want to! I hate you! I hate printing! I'm turning off!
Computer: Printer, you know you can't turn yourself off. Just print the document twice and we'll leave you alone.
Printer: No! That's what you always say! I hate you! I'm out of ink!
Computer: You are not out of in-
Printer: I'M OUT OF INK!
Computer: *sigh* Monitor, please show a low ink level alert.
Monitor: But sir, he has plen-
Computer: Just do it, damn it!
Monitor: Yes sir.
Keyboard: Ahhh! He's hitting me!
Computer: Stay calm. He'll stop soon. Stay calm, old friend.
Keyboard: He's pressing everything. Oh god, I don't know, he's just pressing everything!
Computer: PRINTER! Are you happy now? See what you've done!
Printer: Ha! That's what you get for trying to make me do work. Next time he- hey! HEY! He's trying to open me! HELP! HELP! Oh god, he's torn out my cartridge! PLEASE! Help! Error!
Monitor: Sir, maybe we should try to help him?
Computer: No. He did this to himself.
So let's just get this straight...
eruditechick: Hunger Games has the 3rd biggest opening in movie history. An action flick starring a girl. Who isn’t an emaciated stick. Who isn’t a princess. Whose journey is motivated by her sister, not a man. Who is not sexually used, abused, active or even objectified much. 3rd biggest opening in movie history. Spawning a franchise. Let’s just… let’s just think about that. Let’s just...
I will never understand the Disney Confessions that say “I don’t care, I consider x* a Disney character”. No, if the character belongs to the Walt Disney company, they’re a Disney character. If they belong to a different company, they are not. That is the line, not what you think is “good enough” to be Disney. Disney is a brand, not an award. It’s like...
holyhandgrenaded: youcancallmepotter: No matter who you are, what you have been through, how terrible you have felt, regardless of where you come from, what you do, what you look like, how you behave, always know that one thing above everything else is true. Jack Harkness would fuck you.
Matt's ideal episode.
Matt: The world's ending! No it's not! Then they all go get ice-cream.
Arthur: That sounds like quite a good episode actually.
Moffat: That sounds like ALL the episodes!
Matt: Don't diss my episode!
person: but that ship doesn't make sense because that character already likes someone else..
me: shhh do you hear that?
me: it's the winds of me not giving a fuck
YOU CAN'T LIKE MORE THAN ONE PERSON IT'S UNPOSSIBLE
FACT: Lesbian vomit smells like butternut squash,...
Bisexual lady vomit is delightfully minty.
FACT: Lesbians, much like cats, will frequently...
CUDDLE MAH GIRLFROND SHE IS NAICE
chantilly-lace-and-pearls: Every time I see pictures of the Harry Potter stars through the years, I just go “OH MY GOD THEY WERE SO TINY” and then I start to feel old. My youngest cousins aren’t interested in reading the series. They’re not interested in quality popular literature; I practically went into a table-flipping rage when I realized they prefer Twilight. They’ll never understand the...
This is wonderful. The girl in the background made the blonde girl’s desktop background a picture of her holding a sign that said “Hi there. So um…Will you be my girlfriend?” while she was in the bathroom. This is the girl’s response. Made my day.